"Smoke"
Painting by Andrew C.C. Huang

"Insomnia"
Poem by Andrew C.C. Huang

(Originally printed in Chien Kuan Poetry Quarterly)

Insomnia -- sleepless night
after tossing back and forth in bed
I get up to face this dreadful space and time
silence...emptiness
...throbbing thoughts in an expanding space

I start to face myself
my thoughts is a mirror that shines a light into my soul
reflection is the surface of the blue lake
throught which I dive into the water of my inner life
anger, love, lust, regret, frustration...
I swim amidst the currents of emotions that are my inner life
I swim along, contemplating on
why I have lost the loves of my life
whether it's through god's design
or by the choice of you and mine
for a night full of crowding darkness and shimmering thoughts
always make me reminisce about the loves of my life

Noise of TV... clamour of passing cars... loneliness
loneliness amidst noise is the most dreadful thing
I start to speak to myself
-- a conversation with my tightly controlled naked soul –
who are you? why are you here?
why were you loved, liked, despised or hated?
will your loves come back and will your foes leave?

I start to converse with my past loves
where have you gone to?
are you in heaven?

Or are you in your next life?
will you come back to me again?
I start to question god
why all these sadness and despair in life
for what godly purpose are these for

Insomnia...slowly fading away
sleepiness slowly creep up upon me
I look at the timid dawning lights and crawl into bed
to continue my conversation in another sleepless night

"失眠"
詩作 黃執虔

失眠 無眠夜
在反側輾轉無功之後
我索然而起 面對這時間與空間

靜止 空虛
思想在擴展的空間中顫動
我開始面對自己
思慮是面明鏡 照入我的靈魂
省思是平靜的湖面
從中 我躍進內心世界的水流
憤怒 愛慕 欲望 懊悔 失意
我在波濤洶湧的情緒中游
繼續游 省思著
為何我失去生命中的摯愛
或是命運的旨意
或是你和我的選擇
靜夜如此 壓迫的黑暗及閃爍的思維
總令我回想我人生中的摯愛

電視的吵聲 車輛的喧嘩 寂寞
喧囂中的寂寞最令人不戰而慄
我開始與自己對話
與一個脫盡禮節的赤裸靈魂 –
你是誰? 為何在此?
為何你曾被愛被恨被喜歡被憎厭?
你的摯愛還會歸回嗎?
開始與逝去的摯愛對話
你去那了?
你在天堂嗎?
或是在你的下一世?
你會回到我身邊嗎?
我開始問上天
為何這許多人生憂愁
這些挫折有何目的

失眠 漸漸退潮
睡意慢慢湧上
我看著羞澀的晨曦 爬進床
在令一個失眠夜中 再繼續交談